I got love, L.O.V.E and I be love

My heart all but burst today with the overflow of love I felt ensconced in due to the receipt of cards and gifts from my Nepali family. My beautiful sisters and parents sent me cards telling me how much I am loved and I am just so grateful for having that feeling of what's important and determined to continue fostering my relationships and letting people know how important they are to me. Here's a mini-montage to my gorgeous family and the happy memories of our time (short) together.

Signed up to the British 10k in JULY!!!!!!

Guess there really is no turning back now. I signed up for the British 10k race today (to raise money for Anti-Slavery) which is going to take place on 9th July, which means I have little over a month to go from being TOTALLY unfit to fit enough to run 10k comfortably. Given that my evenings are so sporadic, I have to get my training in first thing in the morning which means a 6am wake up call. Errrrrr, why am I doing this again?..........

Ah just feel like ah just win a million dollars

I've uploaded over 100 albums so far and bought the 'Little White Lies' soundtrack which I LURVE, especially 'The Weight'. Soooo got a ton of amazing music on the iPod, new Gil-Scott-Heron that I'd never heard before. Love Johannesburg....... but what do I do? Keep listening to SOCA.

I don't think many people apart from my small island brethren will get it, but the music gets into the core of my soul and no matter how bad a day I'm having, it's sure to reinvigorate me and instantly make it happy. Takes me back to my six days in sun-drenched Trinidad, jouvert morning (starting at 1:00am and continuing for 24 hours),  carnival day and dancing for ten hours straight. Nothing else like it. My entire blog could consist of extolling the virtues of soca but here are a few of my faves from Trinni carnival 2011.

The search for the perfect avocado continues to elude me....

So got home at half ten tonight, after meeting a lovely young man whose family I stayed with in Nepal and they had sent me lovely gifts which had me quite choked, but that's on another post.

Too late to have dinner so embarked on a mission to make lunch and was so disappointed with my avocado which I bought from Sainsbury's yesterday. That'll teach me for buying Basics,

A different view of Africa

After watching the  Grande Hotel on Friday and feeling very discouraged abut the perpectual negative portrayal of Africa and Africans in the media, I was really relieved when this month's New African came through my door proclaiming the 100 most influential Africans. Whilst some are a bit suspect, i.e Mugabe, I was enthralled by some of the others especially the women. Will detail my top 10 later, as just got back in from a 4.5 hour stint of decluttering (still not anywhere near tidy yet) and should head to bed. 

R.I.P Gil Scott-Heron

Heard the dreadful news yesterday that Mr. Scott-Heron left us to join the circle of the ancestors. Rest in peace Mr Heron and thank you for all the wondrous and important works that you left us with and despite all the demons that plagued you, your genius stayed intact.

Will be forever thankful that I got to see you at WOMAD 2010.

For this reason, 'The Revolution will not be televised is the first album to be uploaded onto my newly downloaded iTunes.

Thrifty living challenge

This element of the challenge is to eradicate my banal consumerist persona and start to clear my debt by limiting my spending. I have no idea where it will end up. I could end up being so anti-consumerism that it becomes a buy nothing for a year challenge, but for now, given that I know I want a Bose ipod dock as a birthday pardner treat and some lace Calvin Klein lingerie, I'm not going to say it's buy nothing for a year, but it's definitely buy NO clothes for a year except when replacing a worn out item (cheating a bit as I really want a Barbour jacket and this clause will give me leeway to buy it, but only with my pardner money. So my thrifty living challenge is:

No turning back.....

Well, blog template is completed and the I'm going to launch the blog. I have swallowed the red pill and there's absolutely no turning back now, no refining of any challenges. This is it!!! I am now publicly accountable as I embark on my journey. I am nervous and excited and ignoring the inner voice that tells me that I've set myself up to fail. I will SUCCEED and have a ton of fun along the way. Whilst I don't officially start till Tuesday 01st June (giving myself 14 months in which to complete the 30 challenges), I'm going to start doing monthly breakdowns of tasks to complete towards meeting challenges each month, so here's June's:

29: Have a nude portrait painted

My Dorian Grey moment - I want to be immortalised in a painting. Not really, but totally comfortable with my nakedness and since Jackie Chan (no-lie) did a pencil drawing of me, quite intrigued by how I'm 'seen' by others. whether my inner being transcends my outer form etc. And I love nudes and think they're so beautiful yet vulnerable at the same time, so I want one done of me. Not sure I'll freak visitors out or display my narcissism by hanging it in the front room though. This challenge also means that I get to learn a lot about art along the way and I'll be able to discuss the works of the masters...

30: Scuba dive in La Reunion

This is my reward challenge. Been totally obsessed with La Reunion since I met the most poised, articulate, elegant woman at a conference in 2010. Best tourism promo that La Reunion ever had and she showed a video depicting the lushest greenest place I ever saw (well apart from the Amazon and Madagascar) and been wanting to go ever since. Plus it's French speaking.

27: Read Wretched of the Earth in French

Given that I have wanted to learn French in like forever and given my constant disappointment at myself for being a typical English person and not speaking another language as oppossed to a true African who speaks at least five, I'm setting myself the challenge of actually completing a book in French and I'm going to read Fanon as have the English versions but massive challenge of completing either Black Skin, White Masks or Wretched of the Earth in French. Was going to go with Sartre but in trying to achieve my political refinement, going with Fanon instead.

10: Run Paris/Rome Marathon

Craaaazzzzyyyyy one given that I do NO exercise WHAT-SO-EVER!! So have to get my behind into gear enough to run a marathon and where else but Paris, right on my doorstep but I've never been, so this is not one for my current undisciplined persona. Think if any one of my challenges is going to change me the most, cause me the most pain or death, it'll be this one.

26: Spend two weeks walking the cCamino de Santiago route

As the 30 before 30 challenge is about development of all facets of my life, here is my spiritual one. I am as deeply spiritual as I am deeply anti-religion, but can be moved into rapture in spiritual places. So I want to do this pilgrimage walk and really get to connect with my inner spirit. Yes I know it sounds new-agey and straight out of a Paulo Coehlo book, but it's all true.

25: Bike ride in Amterdam during the tulip bloom

At 28, I cannot ride a bike. As my friend told me I must have been too busy playing government troops and rebels growing up in Sierra Leone to partake in any Western childhood rites of passage like learning to ride a bike. So not only do I need to learn to ride a bike, I want to reward myself with a trip to Amsterdam during the tulip bloom and ride a bike amidst scenes like this:

24: Learn to dance confidently with a partner

I can't remember where I first saw the Lindy-hop, but was totally blown away by the energy and acrobatic nature of it all and since I'm currently reading Malcolm X and getting caught up in the whole Harlem Renaissance dream, I really want to get my lindy-hopping on. I just hope I can find a class that has the 'soul' of it.

23: Have paper published in an academic journal

My job includes lots of public speaking and I have spoken at some of the world's most respected academic institutions and I also regularly write for a magazine, however I have a strong desire for my work to be of sufficient academic merit to be published in a journal. Initial thoughts behind challenge was to have paper published and present it at a conference, but given that I present papers publicly all the time, not really a new challenge.

22: Confidently swim length of pool

I can't swim. There - said it. I can't float, was petrified of water as a child, (thanks to my lovely cousins at a particular Godrich beach. Yes you know who you are) but determined to overcome it and be able to swim before I'm 30.

21: Play 2 songs well on guitar

                                

I've always liked the idea of playing the guitar, I love music but have no musical ability whatsoever, but everyone can learn to play the guitar right?

20: Plan a detailed world trip

I LOVE the world, love meeting different people from around the world in their own home. Fell in love with the world during the 1998 (I think) Olympics when the ceremony consisted of displays of cultural heritage from the world and I resolved that I wanted to soak it all up, but as Jilly from Philly sings, 'when I was a little girl, I dream to see the world, but how could this be, me a poor black girl'. Well I've been SUPER, SUPER blessed and have travelled a little bit and got to meet some beautiful inspiring people in Trinidad, Niger, Nepal, Ghana to name but a few countries I've been to, but greedy for more.

19: Build a sideboard

                          

A little bit of an OCD home-maker always wanting EVERYTHING to have a home, and a beautiful home, so I love sideboards to store things, plus always really interested in making things and since watching Angela Bassett get her carpentry on in 'How Stella got her groove back' eons ago, been harbouring a dormant desire to have a carpentry workshop. 

18: DJ a party/event

I love music and I love dancing. I HATE going to parties/events where the music is rubbish. I have often thought that I can rock the crowd a lot better than some DJs. During my years at university, I spent countless hours supporting a friend who was learning to DJ, but I never did pick up the skill myself, but yet have always wanted to do it, so this is a good time to realise this dream.

17: Learn to play capoeira

Had my first capoiera  lesson  about eight years ago and I was RUBBISH!!! No coordination WHATSOEVER - my jenga had no jeng, but I loved the beauty and fluidity of it and it's African roots. Speaking no absolutely no Portuguese, I still connected with the longing for Africa in the songs (not that the 90 per cent of middle class Bristol uni students experts had/felt/acknowledged its African emancipation routes!) and vowed that I'd find my natural rhythm and become good by taking lessons. I have never been back since. But my best friend Lucy Love is a maestro and got a super hot bod to go with it, so if African connection isn't inspiration enough, then a Love-esque body is.

Decluttering isn't just about 'stuff'

So holed up at home today due to my period starting. Have been plagued by pains for the longest time and so been at home, trying to do a bit of work, but feeling tired and having NO concentration, doing a bit of blog stuff as well in preparation for it to go live.
Got over 150 emails in my work account that I have not responded to - consumed by guilt as a result and thinking I should have a 5:00am start tomorrow and go in the office and deal, cos there's a ton of other stuff besides. Might even get up and go in tonight. See how I feel in an hour, but fundamentally thinking that clutter is anything that clouds your space and brain and lawd knows there's lots that clouds my brain, but the thinking is that by limiting the physical stuff, the mental will assume some clarity as well. So what's currently cluttering my mind?

De-cluttering (again)

              

Think I may developing a slightly obsessive trait to my personality. I have got rid of make up that's surplus to requirement, significantly and ruthlessly whittled down my wardrobe (though still holding out for a new pole to be fitted and new hangers so it looks even tidier) and bagged clothes for friends to reject before taking it down to Oxfam. Went through my documents cupboard and got rid of old magazines that I'm never going to read (but kept the National Geographics as they will help with my planning of world trip to obscure places), got rid of old Times Educational Supplements under my bed. In short, I is on a roll.

Fashion mags - the devil's spawn

I have long been an avid fashion magazine reader since age 11, starting with Sugar and Just Seventeen and becoming an Elle enthusiast at age 16. I dread to think just how much I have spent buying fashion magazines,not to mention the time wasted reading and re-reading them. The one thing that they most certainly increase is desire, desire for the most current must-have item of clothing or skin care product. Have come to the realisation that it's all bullshit and an industry built to stifle creativity and personal style. Everyone ends up wearing this season's must-have and end up looking like clones.The very people that churn out this stuff don't even believe in it themselves. When did you last see Anna Wintour or Carinne Reinfold in beige or stripes.
My love affair with fash mags and their prompts to buy this or that is done. Personal style is borne out of self-awareness and confidence and that's what I strive toward.
Note I have never been a fashion follower but even I am not immune to subliminal messaging.

16: Collate family history and Sierra Leone folk tales

Terrible that I'm still revising my list, but as soon as I'm ready to make the blog live, there'll be no more revision. Just changed learn burlesque dance to this one. Really wanted to learn how to get my sexy on, but you know what? I'm not, never have been and don't think ever will be the 'sexy' girl. I'm kooky, funny, crazy but not sexy so there. This goal will be such a more worthwhile one, will spend more time with my family and I'll help my elders leave a bit more of a legacy to my generation and the one below, so here's to this challenge.

15: Learn to play chess and win a match

This will be the ultimate proof that I'm smart right? Especially if I beat my friend Maninka.

14: Learn basic astronomy & go star gazing

I've been fascinated with stars for a really long time and especially since seeing a shooting star whilst sleeping outside in a village in Niger and taken my friend's children to planet/star shows at Planetariums but could not look up in the sky and make out constellations so really want to be able to point out to Orion etc. Then want to go camping and sleep under the stars one night.

28: Learn candle-making and make as gifts

I have been the worst person at keeping in touch, forgetting birthdays, then being consumed by guilt and avoiding that person or alternatively splashing out on expensive dinners/gifts to make up for it. Well no more. I will from now on spend time making unique special  mainly gifts for those I love and in being thrifty and eco friendly, think it'll mainly be candles, skin care products, books for children or British weather permitting, nice picnics. Since visiting Nepal have I become obsessed with making candles in the vein of Jo Malone, i.e simple and chock full of essential oils, but my main OBSESSIONS at the moment are my L'occitane candle and Bath and Body works Eucalyptus and Spearmint candles. If I can make anything close I'll be happy. Then fell in love with beeswax candle on a recent visit to Kew Gardens.

13: Visit 30 places of interest in London

During the last few years, I have spent most weekends cleaning, working, catching up on sleep or at home with friends, but determined to make more of this beautiful city I live in and all the culture and art it has to offer. Which reminds me, must sign up to Emerald Street to receive updates of things happening in London.

12: Create photo albums and organise music playlist

Like most people I don't ever print my photos and I've got a ton of gorgeous photos from all my travels since 2007, just sitting on my laptop, so this year I need to create photobooks. I also have some fantastic music that I don't listen to and a defunct ipod that has no music on it, so not only do I have to upload over 300 CDs, also have to create cool playlists and acquire at least 30 new more CDs. Top of my list so far:

11:Do one outdoor climb

Really excited about this challenge although it’s going to be an expensive one, hence only twice monthly. Went sky-diving a couple of years ago and loved it (but that’s a super expensive hobby and will not help the clear debt target ) so in keeping my adventurous spirit up and traversing height, I’ll stick with climbing twice a month.

09: Read all Folio books on booksheld

I’ve got the most beautiful and expensive set of Folio books all historical and on the origins of language and most of the time I feel that I don’t have a clue what’s going on and reading them will certainly help me to form my political and life philosophy and support my arguments.

08: Create and document 50 new recipes

When I lived alone (moved back home last year) I was constantly in the kitchen knocking up uber delish mainly vegan dishes, but since being back home, with my uber messy mother and sister, don’t really like using the kitchen much (I’m a bit OCD and love pristine places), but have to get over that and start making food again. Will be cataloguing them and collating them in books as gifts.

07: Sort out all physical and emotional health problems

Not a very sexy or fun one for the list but an essential one that could vastly improve the quality of my life. Thankfully I am relatively healthy, no massive health problems but just niggling ones that have plagued me for most of my life. In no particular order and apologies for giving out TMI, I am afflicted by: 

06: Complete a self-designed de-clutter and organisation programme

This idea started with a view to declutter my wardrobe, feeling that I have an identity-less style which of course has been the main source of my debt problem. I am totally blown away by Fleurett of deadfleurett and whilst I'm not a label freak or have the money to spend on designer items as she does, I have enough key items in my wardrobe to achieve a minimalist look. But now I also want to apply to all areas of my life including emotions and relationships.

05: Complete reading for MSc

I have had so many incarnations in life, the Lib Dem activist, the Pan-Africanist, the hippy and the consumer. All have had advantages but none perfect and I’m not looking for a perfect ideology, no such thing as I’ll not dogmatic about anything, but I’m so unaware of what’s going on in the world because of cluttering my brain with crap like clothes, hair, and health reading, but I want to be aware of what’s happening, be informed and have informed opinions, because I espouse about things that I stand for but I don’t really have the facts to back them and I don’t live accordingly.

04: Create outstanding department at work

I am sooooooo blessed. I have a fantastic job, work with amazinging intelligent and committed people and I do my job well ok. I always have been a deliverer so I will come through and get things done as I should however, there are days when I feel like I actually do NOTHING at all. I don’t fulfil my potential cos I have so many things cluttering my mind, so this year I want to be so dedicated (but with a good work life balance) and basically turn my one-woman work into an outstanding department.

03: Volunteer and mentor again

Once upon a time, I was studying a full time masters, kicking ass in seminars, working my way through uni, doing voluntary work as a youth worker and a Saturday school teacher and I was at my most productive. Since moving back to London, have not done any voluntary work, instead been fixating on cluttering my mind with mindless acquisition and banal consumerism. The joy in doing voluntary work is one that cannot be surpassed and will help me get out of my own head a bit.

02: Clear credit card debt

Where to start with this one? The first step to recovery is acceptance right so here it is… I. AM. A. SHOPALHOLIC! There said it, my habit has landed me in £6200 debt to date, causes me dread and feelings of guilt, dreadful feelings of guilt in terms of the money that I spend on clothes, beddings, superfoods, books, make-up, skin care products etc which can do so much in terms of helping people who have less and also selfishly giving me better experiences than guilt of clothes that I don’t wear, make-up I don’t use, books I don’t read etc. As always, any form of addiction comes from a place of incompleteness, that empty void etc. 

Get driving license

Been trying to do this since 2005, had lessons on and off and failed theory test twice, both from lack of preparation – another example of colossal waste of money. This year I HAVE to get license completed.